Welp, you just got a NO.

You applied. You interviewed. You wore those shoes that hurt but look like a boss and you still got a form letter saying they are “going with another candidate.”

I know how you feel. Actually, statistically, damn near everyone in the workforce knows how you feel. Welcome to the club! Unfortunately, with so many people having been where you are, there is a lot of horribly jaded crap out there to get you through this rough time. But fear not! I have the 4 steps that will ACTUALLY help you get back in the game and ready to go get that dream job.

Step 1 – Feel your feelings.
You want some bad advice? Ok, here it is: “Get over it!” “Screw them! Move on!” or my personal favorite: “I don’t give a F*&#!” Here is the truth – job hunting is a crazy vulnerable experience, second only to dating & falling in love. You are putting it all on the line, saying “Here is my best. I want you. Do you want me?” and when we get a “No” that can be devastating, confusing and frustrating. I totally get that you want to shut down or just power through. Don’t.

You want some good advice? Feel your feelings. You see, feelings don’t just go away, they stick around in your brain (and body) for a loooong time.   You actually already know this – remember that time that you did that embarrassing thing and you still think about it and cringe? Yeah. Still there. I always say: “Feelings are like gas, if you don’t let them out, they will give you a stomach ache.”

Applying for jobs requires you to go all in, give it absolutely every thing you’ve got and be more committed to the possibility of it working out than the fear that it wont. To do that and to TRULY put your best foot forward, you must feel your feelings to let them go.

Step 2 – Go WIN at something you are great at.
Next up – get your MOJO back! The fastest, most reliable way to build your confidence? WINNING! Challenge yourself to do something you are great at better than you ever have before. Go crush a spin class, go cook a mouth-watering 5 course meal, go raise $1,000 for charity. Just go do something amazing – I promise it will put you back on your game.

Step 3 – Get feedback FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE CRUSHING IT.
Not all feedback is created equal. Go get feedback on your application from someone who has a job you want, or is living a bold, courageous life. They have the good stuff. Only take the good stuff.

Step 4 – Get back out there.
You knew this was coming. Listen, you’ve done the work. You felt your feelings, you rebuilt your confidence, you even got some expert feedback. NOW GET BACK OUT THERE. There is a job, a company, a career, a future that is just WAITING for you and your gifts to show up in their inbox. Go bring your gifts to the world – they are precious and unique and amazing.

Go be great,

Ali